A Mirror Never Lies
by Mistress BlackOpal
Summary: Is Pan going crazy? She seems sane enough to Goten. Gt/P. Contains self mutilation and not so vivid descriptions. Chapter 3 up
1. In the eyes of Pan

Wow here's a new one. Don't think I have much more to say, but read on. It's another annoyingly short why oh why won't she finish it sorta fic. Not much romance so far, but I'm not a romance sorta person. Plenty of good wholesome angst tho, so enjoy!  
  
~  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
I see a girl.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
The girl is pale and her hair is dark.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She is bleeding. From her wrists. She does nothing to stop it.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She holds a knife in her hands. The blade - it had blood on it.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
Blood. Her blood. Dripping from her wrists. And the blade.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She used the blade on herself. I have to help her!  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
I see a girl with dark hair and bleeding wrists. And her eyes are black. As black as death.  
  
~  
  
"Hey, Pan-chan!" She whirled around. That voice.  
  
"Hey, Uncle Goten! What's up?"  
  
"Don't call me Uncle. Nothing much, I was around, thought I might seek you out."  
  
"How flattering. You up for ice-cream?" He zoomed off, Pan close on his tail. "I shouldn't have asked."  
  
They strolled through the park, after getting their ice cream. The day was tranquil, the sun gentle on the blazing autumn flora. The breeze was still warm from summer, melting the ice cream ever so slightly, but Pan kept the ends of her long sleeves bunched up in her fists, pulling them tight. "So my little Panny-chan, what have you been up to these past few months?"  
  
"Don't call me that! I haven't done a lot..... Work's boring, no love life..... How about you? Gotta be more interesting than me."  
  
"Nope, I'm the same..... Only I don't even work. My best friend's married to his career and my favourite niece is all the way over here! Been bludging at home 'til some random friends decide to include me at the spur of the moment to go somewhere..... I miss dragging Trunks out of his office with you; it's not the same without you there. You still haven't given me a legitimate answer to why you left."  
  
"Don't ask me that. You know I can't tell you. I've told you that a million times."  
  
"Nah, more like a hundred and thirty seven. I've missed you, Pan. Why did you have to leave? Why did you have to leave me?"  
  
"I wasn't leaving you. I just had to get out, you know how oppressing Grandma and Daddy can be, don't you?"  
  
"I guess..... Let's just forget that and enjoy what time we have left together."  
  
"That's fine by me," she chirped, linking her Uncle's arm with her own.  
  
~  
  
Now, Pan. That was a lie.  
  
That doesn't matter. He shouldn't have to know.  
  
But if you told him, wouldn't all your problems be solved?  
  
No. That would make more problems. He's my Uncle!  
  
Does that really matter? Does that matter in something like this? In love?  
  
~  
  
"Seeya Goten! Come back soon," Pan yelled from the roof of her apartment block, waving her arms in the air like crazy.  
  
"I've visited you already! Next time, you come see me!"  
  
"Goten!"  
  
"Alright, alright..... I'll come back as soon as I can, ok?"  
  
"Good boy. Seeya then!"  
  
"Bye!"  
  
She watched her Uncle disappear over the horizon as the tiniest of specks. "Bye, Goten. I love you."  
  
~  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
It's that girl again.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She's crying. She's not moving, just letting those crystalline tears roll down her cheeks. She's so pale!  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
Wait, her lips are moving! She's whispering something. A name?  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
Her hand's moving. It's clutching her heart.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
I think this girl's in love.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
Her hand's moving down. To something on the table.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She picked the thing up. It's glinting. It has something matted on it too. Matted and brown.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
It's the knife! Matted with blood! She's bringing it close to her other hand.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She'll do it? Why will she hurt herself like that? Is it her love?  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She did it! The blood is pouring out so fast!  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
The blood is going everywhere! She'll bleed herself to death! I have to help her!  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
It's splashing and spurting! I can smell it! Some of it sprayed onto a pane between us.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
A pane? Could it be a window? A mirror?  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
Those eyes! They're deathly black! They're as black as..... as..... mine.  
  
~  
  
"Hey, Goten! What's up with the call?"  
  
"Nothing, just checking up." 'I wanted to hear your voice.'  
  
"Well since you called, may as well dump all my turmoils on you....."  
  
'Turmoils? My Pan-chan? What could be wrong?' "Ok, shoot."  
  
"Well I keep getting this feeling that I need to save someone, like they're crying out for my help but I'm just off hearing distance....." she trailed off.  
  
"Go on," he prompted.  
  
"But then I get flashes of memory, like as if I'd been in two places at the same time, but could only remember one of them clearly, and the other's just there... somehow..... am I confusing you?"  
  
"I think you're confusing yourself, but go on. I want to know if I can help."  
  
"Those flashes, they were really clear at the time, but my memory keeps losing grasp of them, and suddenly it's as if it's never been there in the first place..... You're right..... I am confusing myself..... I'm not making any sense, am I?"  
  
"You're doing fine. Just keep talking and we'll make some sense of it somehow."  
  
"You're wonderful, you know, Goten?"  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"Baka... Well anyway, in these flashes, I think they're all different, but I keep seeing the same person... I think... It might be the person I need to help. And I'm standing in front of something. I dunno what it is, why it's there, but somehow I know it's the most significant bit. It's in between that person and me. And all these flashes put together make up one big story, but I can't remember anything else. I don't even remember when these flashes happened!"  
  
"Well when you said you needed to help someone, I was thinking about the world being peaceful for so long, but you've been fighting since the day you were born, so you wanted to do something a little like that... but your story makes it all a little weird... Do you think they might have been a dream you keep recalling?"  
  
"It might be... who knows the workings of this strange little mind?"  
  
Goten laughs, as does Pan. The sound is music to his ears, ignoring the static over the long distance phone call. "Dreams are like that... Crazy. I had this dream once... I was soaring over a field of something or other, then I landed in the middle of it and saw that it was corn. But when I went to take a closer look, they turned out to be hotdogs and some dude was carrying one of those hotdog selling thingies they have at football games but it turned into the World Martial Arts Tournament and I won and the first prize was a years unlimited supply of hotdogs and croutons."  
  
There was silence at the other end of the line. 'Where is she? Is she ok?'  
  
"Pan? You there?"  
  
"Oh! Um... yeah... Is food all you ever think about?"  
  
'Other than you,' "Probably."  
  
"Ah... I see... Well I gotta go soon but it's been great talking to you!"  
  
"Yeah, you too."  
  
"Well, bye!"  
  
"Seeya!" The line went dead. "I love you."  
  
~  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
I see a girl. In a woman's body. No. A woman in a girl's body.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
The girl, or woman, is crying. She keeps saying a name.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
Her lips. Pale. Forming that same word over and over again.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
The word is 'Goten'.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
This girl is clenching her heart. She loves Goten.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She is not allowed to love Goten. She does not if Goten could love a child like her.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She is pleading for Goten to know. To know that she is a woman.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She is pleading for him to accept. Accept the fact that she is his niece.  
  
Tell me what you see  
  
I see no blade, but her wrists slash open and bleed uncontrollably.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
Her heart clenches on itself, the pressure to strong. How does this make her bleed?  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
Her eyes. Black as death. They are mine.  
  
~  
  
[Open chat room]  
  
[Boopadop enters the conversation.]  
  
[Saiyagirl enters the conversation.]  
  
Boopadop: Hey Pan!  
  
Saiyagirl: Who's this?  
  
Boopadop: *gasp*! You don't remember me? This saddens me greatly.  
  
Saiyagirl: Ohi Goten!!! How'd you get my contact?  
  
Boopadop: You gave it to me, remember?  
  
Saiyagirl: And you could only bother to find me now?  
  
Boopadop: Hey! I just got the Internet yesterday! Still trying to work it out. I only got it so I could talk to you, y'know...  
  
Saiyagirl: Aww that's so sweet!  
  
Boopadop: I know, I know... You owe me. Now you'll have to come back doubly as fast =D  
  
Saiyagirl: Nah... Now that you've got the Internet we can talk over here from now until forever! =P  
  
Boopadop: Aww no fair! After all that trouble I've gone through to get his hooked up, this is the thanks I get?  
  
[Boopadop retreats to a desolate corner to cry]  
  
Saiyagirl: Goten you know I didn't mean it!  
  
Saiyagirl: Goten?  
  
Saiyagirl: Goten!  
  
Saiyagirl:  
  
Saiyagirl:  
  
Saiyagirl: Uncle!  
  
Boopadop: Don't call me that!  
  
Saiyagirl: You wouldn't answer.  
  
Boopadop: Aww... lil Panny-can missed Goten-woten?  
  
Saiyagirl: Goten-woten?  
  
Boopadop: Hey It was the best I could come up with!  
  
Saiyagirl: Cute. Very cute.  
  
Boopadop: I gotta go soon... Mum made thirteen different dinosaur meat dishes today =9 She said it was to celebrate our connection to cyberspace... You think mum's weird sometimes?  
  
Saiyagirl: Of course! Just be grateful she thinks it's a good thing. And for tonight's dinner.  
  
Boopadop: Well, duh! I gotta go now... mum's calling!  
  
Saiyagirl: Just one thing before you go...  
  
Saiyagirl: Aishiteru.  
  
[Saiyagirl has left the conversation]  
  
Boopadop: Pan?  
  
Boopadop: Pan!  
  
Boopadop: Aishiteru, Pan-chan.  
  
[Boopadop has left the conversation]  
  
[Close chat room]  
  
~  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
It's the girl.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She thinks she's done something terrible.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She has. She told Goten her feeling for him.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She thinks Goten hates her now.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
Blood. She is weeping blood.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She has forgotten the knife.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She begins tearing at her own flesh with her nails.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She's trying to claw away her humiliation.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She won't stop crying. Her heart is bleeding, as is the rest of her.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
She has broken down, helpless.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
Tears and flesh and hate and blood.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
Hate for herself. She despises herself for what she has done.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
A girl. Helpless. I must help her.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
I see eyes, deathly black as deadly death.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
Those eyes are my own.  
  
Tell me what you see.  
  
I see me.  
  
~  
  
A.N. I am planning on continuing this... Ever so sorry about 'Downfall'. I'm a one-shot wonder. Review, flame, comment. any feedback is welcome. Not much G/P, but not much anyone else, ne?  
  
~Opal~ 


	2. In the eyes of Goten

A.N. Chappie two! Done out of complete boredom and I don't have any needles to stick in myself coz ma took them all away. All of 'em. She says I scare her, but she's the one who scares me. Anywho, it's Saturday, I just came back from the beach a few hours ago (I don't much like beaching.) and there is no food in the house. I have no idea where my parents or sisters are but then they'd never bother to tell me would they? Imma done ranting..... get me fired up on these characters insanity!  
  
~  
  
'She said she loved me. Not in those words exactly, I love her too. Does she know? Was she just mocking me? She wouldn't, would she? She already loves me as a friend, why not a lover? Why not? Because she's my niece. My NIECE. My niece who is 13 years younger than me. So not only is it very much incestuous, but it's also pedofilic. I am a sinner. Undoubtedly a sinner. I'm in love with a woman born to my brother over a decade after me.'  
  
~  
  
[Open chat room]  
  
[Boopadop enters the conversation]  
  
[Saiyagirl enters the conversation]  
  
Boopadop: Pan-chan!  
  
Boopadop: Pan-chan, talk to me.  
  
Boopadop: Pan-chan, are you angry with me?  
  
Boopadop: Talk to me dammit!  
  
Boopadop: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to swear at you, forgive lil Goten- woten?  
  
Boopadop: Still not talking?  
  
Boopadop: Pan, why are you angry with me?  
  
Boopadop: Did I do something wrong?  
  
Boopadop: Pan-chan!  
  
Boopadop: All right then, please talk to me.  
  
Boopadop: Didn't work?  
  
Boopadop: Panny-chan!  
  
[Saiyagirl is having temporary connection problems and has been removed from the conversation]  
  
Boopadop: Pan, don't block me.  
  
Boopadop: Aishiteru.  
  
[Boopadop has left the conversation]  
  
[Close chat room]  
  
~  
  
'Why did have to be her? Why can't she be an ugly, snobbish, hateful person so I can complain to someone about my terrible relatives? But this I cannot complain about. People I complain to would hate me. Her father, my brother, would hate me. She would hate me, and I wouldn't be able to stand that. She is all that matters anymore. Not that that alone is a bad thing, I've always cared for her. I've cared for her since before her first breath. I've cared for her since her first heartbeat. I knew my brother and sister- in-law would make me something special.'  
  
~  
  
[Open chat room]  
  
[Boopadop enters the conversation]  
  
[Saiyagirl enters the conversation]  
  
Boopadop: Ha! You couldn't block me for long, could ya?  
  
Boopadop: Hello?  
  
Boopadop: You're not ignoring me again, are you? .  
  
Boopadop: Please, just tell me why you're pissed!  
  
Boopadop: Whatever I did, I didn't mean it.  
  
[Saiyagirl has left the conversation]  
  
Boopadop: Why, Dende, why are you doing this to me?  
  
[Boopadop has left the conversation]  
  
[Close chat room]  
  
~  
  
'My life is wasting away; the only thing keeping me going is her presence, even if that presence is only over the phone or the net. Her presence is on this plane, not the afterlife. She keeps me from suicide. She keeps me sane. But she drives me insane. I've often thought about killing her and me, so we can be together forever. But I cannot bring myself to do it. It might hurt her, and I couldn't harm a hair on her head without killing myself ten times over.'  
  
~  
  
*Phone rings, call taken by answering machine*  
  
"Hey, you've reached Pan's house but she's not available so leave your name, number, age, height, eye colour, hair colour, gender and income, and if she likes what she hears, she'll call you back. *Beep*"  
  
"Pan, it's Goten. I know you're there. Pick up the phone, Pan. Are you avoiding me? *Sigh* Is it about the chat the other day? Was it too impersonal? I'm sorry. Was it something I said? Forget that. I know what's up. *Sigh* If it makes you feel any better. Aishiteru."  
  
*Click*  
  
~  
  
'I need to know what she's doing, where she's going, who she's seeing, how she is. It kills me to thing that she might need me for anything and I'm not there for her and she might think that I don't care for her, oh, but I do, I care for her so much! I need to know if she'd alright, if she's eating properly, if she's sleeping well, if she's earning enough, if she's looking after herself, because if she isn't then she'll need me because no- one loves her as much as I do. I need to be there for her. I need to be with her.  
  
'I've tried to contact her, but she won't answer. Is it because she's ignoring me or she's angry with me or someone's got her caught? Is she in trouble, locked up in some basement of a cruel man taking from her what should be mine? Does she hate me because I love her and she thinks I don't but I do. oh how I love her! She is my guardian angel, my shining horizon, my light at the end of this cold tunnel of life! How can she think I don't love her?'  
  
~  
  
Goten landed on the roof of Pan's apartment block after a flight halfway around the world, the world that they together fought to protect. It was past dusk, and he could hear the nocturnal insects beginning their chorus. They were singing for a mate. 'Easy for them,' he thought, 'they didn't have to worry about dramatic age differences or be damned for incestuous relationships. Hell, they didn't even have to worry about relationships. Just mate and be off with it.'  
  
Brushing the thought aside, he found the stairwell and descended the few flights of stairs to bring him to the door of Pan's modest apartment, rehearsing in his head again what he'd say when she opens the door. Taking a deep breath, he rapped sharply on her door. No answer.  
  
He rapped again, then called out, "Open the door, Pan, no matter how well you hide your ki, you know I can sense it." Still no answer. He tried again. "If you don't open the door this instant, I'll call Mum." As he said this, he knew, and so, he assumed, did she know, that this was an empty threat. He was as afraid of Chi Chi as she was, probably more.  
  
Still without an answer from his niece, he heaved a sigh and banged his head on the door. "Alright," he began, now leaning his head and an arm against the wretched door, "I get the point you're not coming out, but I know you're in there and I know you're awake, so I'll just say what I have to say to the door and not your face." He paused for a reaction, a rustling of clothes, perhaps; even a growl would make him happy. None came, but he continued.  
  
"Somehow, I'm getting the feeling you don't want to talk to me," he started sarcastically, but changed his tone. He didn't want Pan any angrier than she was. "I've left you message after message and still no reply. I'll forgive you for that, but what I want is for you to forgive me for whatever I did wrong, or at least for you to tell me exactly what it was. I hope you got my messages, in any case. Actually, I'm pretty sure you did, you're just not answering them." This was getting unpredictable, not what he'd rehearsed. His rehearsals included Pan giving some form of a response, but she didn't stir.  
  
He sighed again before pressing on. "Pan, you did get my messages and I'll repeat them if I have to. You're younger than me. I know. We're related, that I am also aware of. But it doesn't matter. It can't stop the way I feel about you. It can't stop the way you feel about me. When two people experience each other that way, it doesn't matter what race they are, their social status, their income, their sex or their age. And in our case, our family. If two people feel the same way, they can't help but l-"  
  
He stopped short when he heard a noise behind the offensive door, the barrier between him and his niece. It sounded like a tape being rewound. A click, then, in a static replay in his own voice, "Aishiteru."  
  
That alone made his heart leap for joy, but his brightened mood took a sudden drop when a ferocious looking Pan furiously flung open the door. Her wrists sported wide, deep, open gashes accompanied by an array of crescent- shaped, fingernail imprints, all of which were bleeding profusely. Goten watched in horror as drip after drip of deadly crimson splattered onto the old worn carpet of Pan's apartment. Looking behind her, he saw splashes of rust red all over the apartment. It was dizzying. The offensive colour invaded everywhere he looked, and the smell of blood assaulted his nostrils.  
  
He couldn't stand properly; the scene was so terrifying to him. His Pan. Hurt. Hurt so much that souvenirs of the pain littered her apartment. He saw the greatest concentration at the door of the bathroom, and fighting his nauseating vertigo to peer inside, he saw the douses of blood there was so thick, the tiled floor had a deep red, almost black puddle of dried blood. Flecks of the liquid were sprayed onto the mirror and across the basin. If he could have thought strait then, he would have wondered how Pan ever survived alone when she was her own greatest danger.  
  
He felt a stinging in his eyes, and when he brought his hand up to investigate; it came away with fat drops of painful tears. He smudged the rest off his face, and only just noticed that she'd been screaming at him.  
  
". And how dare you come in and mock me?! After all that trouble I went through to try and stay away from you, to keep me from making a fool of myself, to keep me from disgracing the family. Goten, we can't! You didn't finish what you were saying to me, mocking me no doubt, but I know we can't so won't you shut the fuck up! Don't come and throw it in my face, then preach to me about stuff you don't even understand!"  
  
She was in hysterics, but at least she was still alive. She barely made any sense, and Goten attempted in vain to calm her down. Finally, it seemed like she ran out of steam, or blood, or both, and she collapsed in a sorry heap onto a growing stain of red.  
  
~  
  
She thinks we're not allowed to love each other, but we should be because isn't there a saying that goes 'love knows no boundaries' and that should include blood! Blood. why do I keep seeing that? It's not mine, but I'm standing beside someone in front of a mirror but I'm not really there and the reflection in the mirror was only one person who is crying and bleeding and hurting herself. The girl in front of the mirror doesn't move, or is it just that she's thinking she's not moving and I only see her scary scary thoughts including the girl in the mirror in flashes like flashes of memory but it's not something I remember because it's never happened to me before, but maybe it's happened to the girl or maybe it's in the future. I'd hate to be in that future if it is a future because it's so sad and heart wrenching just watching a mirror where a girl just hurts herself over and over again making herself bleed and crying everywhere while all the time she just... stares back with her sad, black eyes. Black as death... like the eyes of my love... because they are the eyes of my love... so the girl must be... Pan?  
  
~  
  
A. N. Don't worry, darlings, there's more coming. It's currently 1:30 in the morning and somehow, most of it spilled out in the last half hour. I've got a few ideas for chapter three, but if you want to put something in, tell me! We've got the summer holz in Aussieland so don't be surprised if you see the next chapter really really soon.  
  
BTW Thankyou all my reviewers! Flattery gets you everywhere.  
  
~Opal~ 


	3. In her mind, in his heart

A girl sobs silently on an endless darkened floor. The space around her is infinite, and she, infinitesimal. The same red stains litter the small area around where she kneels. The same copperish stench invades the air. The same flood of tears pour soundlessly down the same clammy cheeks, but fall to the floor with deafening splashes compared to the silence surrounding her.  
  
The same bleeding, weeping, helpless girl. The same deathly black eyes.  
  
A new person appears out of the dark infinity. Unknown? Perhaps. He seems to know the girl, but approaches the sorry, huddled figure with excess caution. He crouches down slowly, the girl apparently unaware of his presence. Reaching out with a tentative hand, he gently brushes away another tear rolling down her face, then, even gentler, lays it flat on her cheek.  
  
Her sobbing halts, and she lifts her head in a slow, agonising movement, eyes closed. He lowers his head, and their lips meet in a desperate kiss. They break apart, and she opens her bloodshot eyes. Black meets black, and they are both brought crashing back into reality.  
  
~  
  
Goten awoke first, snapped into consciousness as if somebody flicked a switch between dream and reality. He heard the faint, slightly erratic beeping of a heart monitor as his niece stirred. Her dead eyes fluttered open, and caught sight of him., the man of her dreams. She curled up into a ball, facing away from him in the hospital bed. The hospital where he'd rushed her after her collapse. She noticed a slight discomfort in her wrist, apart from the bandaged and still healing slashes in her arm. A tube led from her forearm to a drip, feeing her weakened body with blood more viscous than a mere humans. A bandage around Goten's elbow was the sole relic he showed of his charity to his niece.  
  
Pan hid from him in the sanctuary of the unfamiliar hospital sheets. Hiding her shame, hiding her guilt. Shame for her love for him, guilt that he returned her feelings, to make her happy. She didn't remember what happened, but knew she had a secret revealed.  
  
"Goten?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Take me home."  
  
He nodded. "I'll call the nurse."  
  
~  
  
He laid her tense huddled form on her own bed. Her eyes flickered like a dying flame, restless in her dreams. As soon as she touched the familiar texture of her smooth, slightly bloodstained sheets, she curled up in foetal position close to the wall. Influenced by her dream maybe? Or possibly compulsive behaviour? He had a feeling she had these dreams often.  
  
He wandered into the kitchen to put the kettle on. A mug of hot chocole use to always calm her nerves. Used to. When she was young. She'd changed so much since then, he wasn't sure what to do with her.  
  
It was when he was looking through her cupboards for cocoa that he discovered what he feared.  
  
Drawer after drawer he opened was stuffed with bloodstained knives of all kinds, all shapes, all sizes. All different, but all the same. All rusty red with dried blood.  
  
The bathroom.  
  
Half dazed, half in panic, he stumbled towards the bathroom. Blood. Everywhere. Blood. Splattered on the walls, spilt on the floor. Blood. Smeared on the mirror where fearful eyes stared back at him. A knife. A butcher's knife. Dried blood tainted the otherwise silver blade. Her latest blade of many.  
  
"Goten?"  
  
He slid his eyes over to his niece standing in the doorway, out of focus. His mouth gaped open, but he couldn't utter a sound.  
  
"Goten, what are you doing here?" She looked politely bewildered at his presence. Walking forward, she picked up the bloodstained knife. Absentmindedly, she slashed the blade across her wrist, opening another passage out for her life's liquid, thickened with his own. Goten desired to stop her, but was paralysed by shock and fear. Looking to her left, she peered into the mirror.  
  
"Look, Goten. There she is again. The girl I told you about." She pointed to the mirror, her reflection pointing eerily back. "That's her, and look, she's crying again."  
  
He shook himself out of paralysis and grasped her bloodied wrist. "This is what you've been doing to yourself? Panny... why? What's the matter?"  
  
She seemed to suddenly notice the blood-painted walls and floor. She screamed and collapsed into Goten's strong, awaiting arms. He half dragged, half carried her to the living room. Finding an armchair miraculously sporting only a small patch of the dried brown stains, he laid her down gently, and brushed a few stray strands of hair out of her tightly clenched eyes. She was shaking like a leaf caught in a storm.  
  
"Panny... are you alright?"  
  
She shook her head vigorously.  
  
"Can I get you anything?"  
  
She shook her head again. "Why is there so much blood here? Whose is it?"  
  
He debated with himself whether to tell her, she wasn't in a healthy state of mind at the moment, but no matter when she finds out, it will still be as terrifying as now. 'Now would be better,' he thought to himself, 'more time to recover.' He couldn't bring himself to say it, but pulled her arms away from her chest, where she clutched them protectively. She gave an involuntary shudder as her makeshift shield was taken away, but the company of her uncle comforted her, ignoring the ever-present and prohibited love for him.  
  
He held the bleeding wrist in front of her face. "See this blood? I think it's from the same person."  
  
Her expression changed from fear to confusion to horror as she realised the meaning of his words. "But... but... it can't be mine," she begged dejectedly, lifting her pleading eyes to her uncle's sad, compassionate face, praying for him not to confirm what he'd said.  
  
No chance. He nodded solemnly. No hope. She looked at the blood on her wrist, suddenly finding the wound underneath the thick, red fluid oozing down her arm, dripping on the chair. She wished for it not to me true. No good. She looked around at her insanity-driven stains soiling every object in sight. She wanted it to go away. No blood.  
  
No life.  
  
She burst into a flood of tears, Goten quietly lifted her off the armchair and sat in it himself. He held his niece on his lap, her head buried in his shirt, as if she was a child again. Her sobbing subsided, and they sat there basking in each others closeness, but unsure of what was to come.  
  
Pan spoke up. "Goten, take me home."  
  
"You are home."  
  
"This isn't my home."  
  
Goten pushed her off his chest and tried to look her in the eyes but she kept her head down. "Pan, I know you don't like this but you can't deny it. This is your apartment."  
  
"That's not what I mean. I know it's mine, but I don't want to live here anymore. Please, Goten, take me home."  
  
He nodded, understanding, and flew out the window with his niece in his arms. He didn't stop to gather her belongings; he knew she didn't want to see these bloodstains ever again.  
  
~  
  
Pan awoke with company for the first time in years. She was buried in a smoothly rising and falling chest, the arm of its owner draped protectively around her waist. Protectively or possessively? Her eyes began to water as she recalled last night's events. She pulled away from her uncle and, sitting up, examined her healing wounds, dark brown unlike the pattern of scar in varying shades of white crosshatching over her entire inner forearm.  
  
She did this to herself. Self-mutilation. 'Am I going insane? I don't remember cutting myself, but there's so much blood in the apartment.' She remembered some things though... the mirror, the knife, the girl, the blood. And those eyes. She saw a half open door leading to her uncle's ensuite. She swung her legs off the bed, pulling away from her uncle's warm embrace. The mirror...  
  
Her small feet padded across the plush carpet towards the ensuite. The mirror...  
  
She pushed the door wide open. The mirror...  
  
The mirror. Staring back at her was a pale, haunted face. The face of the girl. The face was her own. It wasn't so much the face that was haunted, but her eyes. Dead. Unable to show emotion. As black as a bottomless pit. She reached out to touch the mirror. Smooth, cold, lifeless; the surface between this world and the world of illusion. The false world that lied to her about the girl she had to save. Suddenly rushed with adrenalin, she threw a punch at the mirror, shattering her reflection into a million unrecognisable pieces.  
  
"You can still save her you know." Goten appeared behind her clad only in his boxers. He took her back into his embrace and looked into the orb- spider-web patterned mirror at their conjoined reflection.  
  
"How can I? I don't know how," she replied dejectedly, "I don't know what she wants."  
  
"Are you sure?" She nodded slowly, hesitated, then shook her head. "What does she want more than anything in the world?"  
  
She lowered her eyes, unable to meet his gaze even in the broken mirror. "She wants the man standing right behind her." Goten nodded, not surprised. He was about to speak but she began again. "it is said that the worst way to miss someone is to be right next to them knowing you can't have them. That's why I left, Goten, that's why I left you."  
  
"Pan?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Then why worry?"  
  
She turned to him. "You're my uncle, Goten! My father is your brother! We... we can't." She turned back to the mirror, but his her eyes under her lashes. Had she looked at herself in the mirror, however, she would have seen that her eyes were no longer lifeless, emotionless, but full of longing.  
  
"I don't give a shit. I love you, you love me. That's all I care about. Why worry about what others think? We belong together. I'll make you happy, Pan. You already make me happy, just knowing you return my love. Pan, I love you."  
  
"Goten, please..."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"Stop... please don't do this..."  
  
"I love you." He pulled her face to him and planted a simple kiss on her dry, pale lips. A crystal tear rolled down her pale cheek. He bent down to kiss her again, pouring all his emotions into that show of affection, of need... and lust. He craved for her, and from this moment on would not leave her side. Could not leave her side.  
  
Pan pulled out of the kiss reluctantly, her lips now moist from Goten and bruised red. "Promise me."  
  
"Anything."  
  
"Promise you'll always be there for me."  
  
"I'll be around you so much you'll be sick of me by the end of this week."  
  
She laughed, finally remembering how to. "I could never get sick of you, Goten."  
  
"So it's not 'Uncle' anymore?" She slapped him playfully on the chest and he caught her lips once again in a searing kiss. He led her out of the bathroom and onto the bed, his lips only leaving her skin to say, "Stop me if I'm going too fast."  
  
"No. I need this."  
  
With those words of assurance as his cue, he attacked; raining nips and kisses down her neck and collarbone. His hands fumbled with her attire, and her singlet top and panties fell to the floor, leaving her thin body exposed to him. He moved lower, tracing a tingling trail of kisses on her milky skin.  
  
They made love then, the first time for both with someone they love. They shared their passion, showed their lust, lived their love. They finished, full of pleasure, reassured that their feelings were true, that they were meant to be.  
  
Out of breath, he panted into her ear, "What do you say to that?"  
  
She grinned wickedly, purring, "Wanna ride again?"  
  
He laughed and attacked her again. "You little minx!"  
  
~  
  
A.N. To get the real lemon, go to www.geocities.com/black_opal87/amirrorneverlies3.html if you can be bothered. Stay tuned, more to come.  
  
~Opal~ 


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